the frustrations of a mother

i just spent the last 40 minutes trying to get sara to sleep. i held her, pat her, sang to her. but all she did was to wail and cry and struggle. at last, i gave up and put her into the cot.

at times like this, i almost wish she didn't exist.

i don't talk about this simply because to those people who are perfect mothers, i will be a monster in their eyes. i hate to realise that sometimes in comparison to them, i seem to love sara much less and that i am not as good a mother as them. i mean, i didn't breastfeed her, i didn't spend ALL my time with her, i still party occasionally, i let the maid get close to her.

i have my bad moments. doesn't everyone?

but one thing i know for sure, sara makes me complete and i love her more than anything else in the world.

ps: just some updates on my life, i just got a job at ocbc to be a business analyst! :) finally i don't have to be worried about not finding a job anymore. the last few months had been quite stressful trying to find a job that's suitable. also, i just heard from my husband that he is going to be away in london for the first 2 weeks of april. i am still thinking if i should join him for a week there. but i will be alone! anyone knows what's good to see in london?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i almost forgot about this blog after i got a new laptop! hahahaha

anyway, the new year went great! sara was quite well-behaved when we went CNY visiting and received close to 700 bucks of angbao money. i didn't receive anything and was quite upset about it :( if i was a kid, i will probably be very jealous of sara because she gets angbaos twice a year (once for hari raya and the other time for CNY). this chinese new year was mostly spent with the extended families, no parties, no gathering with friends, just wholesome family time. ahh so much have changed over the past 2 years.

we went to mimolette with the cousins on friday night, one day before reunion dinner.

this is 7 months old sara with cousin Ryuji(in my arms) and cousin Ayra (in the background). check out sara's cheeky expression!

ayra the little miss sexy! she is always dolled up and is looking so pretty in her cheongsam and black leggings. by the way, ayra is my sister-in-law's daughter and my absolutely favorite niece. she is only 2 and says really sophisticated stuff like "you're so funny!" and "awesome".

and of course, not forgetting my sweet baby sara, who is looking very contented in this picture.

this is Ryuji, who just turned one. he is japanese-malay and is really cheeky. he only smiles at pretty girls and only let the pretty girls play with him. that is probably the reason why he really likes me :P see i have proof!

:)

my sister-in-law and me!

my family <3

Lastly, some random pictures of Sara taken at home. isn't she the most adorable thing on earth?

our new home

we have officially moved! last week was so hectic but we managed to move in 2 days! it was a shock to see how much junk we've accumulated in one year.

the new house is great! renovations went well and we're overall very satisfied with the renovation works. all the furniture were sent on the day we moved in and it feels so good to have brand new furniture.

sara has been sleeping alone in her sweet pink baby room since we moved in. we got the motorola digital baby monitor for her. i was very paranoid the first night, kept going into her room to check if she's ok and the baby monitor is working. however, i think letting her sleep alone has been a great idea! we sleep better and she sleeps better too.

oh and sara has been swimming in the swimming pool downstairs and she really enjoys it! i think she outgrew the swimming tub at huaxia. she looks absolutely adorable in her bikini :)

i start school today again and it feels so strange to be a student again. last night, i stayed up till midnight to prepare her food for today when she goes to my inlaws' place. this morning, we got up at 6.30am and sent sara to my inlaws' place before i go to school and adam goes to work. i am sitting in class now and can't wait to go back to see sara!

festive season + sara @ 5 months old!

oh great it's gonna be christmas again!! :) yesterday i went shopping with serene the whole day because i wanted to get the husband a xmas + birthday gift cos i think he's a little upset that i didn't buy anything for him on his birthday earlier this month. well, you can't blame me cos on the day that i am supposed to go and buy him a gift, i scratched his car :(oh so guess what i got for him? it's a belt from cartier! so high class right?! shall not reveal the price but it is f***ing expensive in my humble opinion. haha i think the salesgirl who served me probably think that that's the only item i can afford at the shop. seriously i don't understand why salespeople at those luxary shops are so stuck up! wtf you're just a salesman?! who are you to think you're more superior than me?????!!

today, we're gonna have lunch with F&C at danryan's and then coffee with P&D in town. tomorrow, we're probably gonna catch avatar at the cinema and then on fri, it's xmas lunch at xuating restaurant in orchard hotel with my family! Oooo so much good meals lining up, do we even sound like people who are in the midst of moving to our new place? oh speaking of the new place, renovations are ok but not fantastic. i think it has got something to do with the foreign labor enployed to renovate our houses. i mean, i don't think think these people are experienced! they're probably just cheap. sigh, renovation is such a pain in the ass. haha so i don't worry about it and let adam do all the worrying.


today baby sara is 5 months old! she's able to flip on her sides and is on solids full swing now. we bought a blender because it is too expensive for her to keep eating the heinz organic baby food in the jar! she is not satisfied with one jar and mind you, each jar costs $2.80 or something. so yes, now i make her food for her. tried apples, pears, sweet potatos, brocolli, carrot, etc. her favorite was brocolli+carrot, kinda gross right? haha and of course, my parents have been feeding her nonsense like chicken soup and adam's parents fed her custard?! oh well, i am actually quite pissed off with all of them but i think i should just relax. i mean, we all grew up fine on such stuff right? OH OH and one more thing, sara is able to eat baby biscuits on her own now! isn't she so clever? whahahaaha genius in the making...


as for sleeping patterns, sara sleeps for 10-11 hours straight at night. in the day, she takes about 3 1-hour naps whenever she's tired. she doesn't cry much and is such a wonderful baby. ok here is a picture of her taken recently





is anyone dying of cuteness overload yet??!!

did i just said i was a good driver?

i got into a minor accident last saturday! i crashed adam's car at the multi-storey car park at my parents' place and scratched the car really badly (the whole stretch from the back door to the bumper).

:( sigh after that i didn't drive anywhere anymore. it's so demoralising!! adam was very nice about it but i still feel so bad about it!

oh and i am not feeling well these few days. doctor said i have a viral infection and i pray that sara is not falling sick too!

proud mommy!

i am so proud of myself today for driving to vivocity to let sara go swimming!! ever since i have gotten my liscense, i never dared to drive baby around. the only time adam lets me have the car is when i am alone! see, even he doesn't trust my driving! and now that he's in london this week, he finally fixed the car seat for sara before he left.

so on monday, i drove to tradehub 21 near our house to buy the new bed frame for our new place. it was so stressful driving that short distance with sara is the backseat. i mean, i know my maid is there but still it's very stressful for me.

today, i drove sara to the PD for her 4th month injection in the morning. somehow, i felt more confident than monday. so i decided to drive baby sara to vivocity!!! hahaha it may sound quite retarded that i am so happy over this but seriously, you have never seen me drive before. if you have, you'd probably be very proud of me too!

lonelyyyyy...im so lonelyyyy...

i miss my husband!!!!! :( he's away for business trip in london for this whole week!! i really wanted to go with him. sigh, i haven't exactly been the best mother for the past one whole month (went to tokyo and kl without baby sara) so that's why i cannot leave her for another one week!! ok shall wait till next year to go to london with the husband then!

Baby Sara's month 4 updates

Sara is sleeping through the night from 9pm to about 7-8am. I still wake up to feed her although she is really not fussing and crying for milk. I guess im waking up due to my own paranoia that she will become malnourished if i don't feed her that one bottle of milk at night!

My little princess has also started on solids full-swing. I know experts do not recommend solids at such a young age, but since Sara is 3.5 months old, she has been smacking her lips non-stop whenever we're eating! oh well, I thought since she has grown teeth, she should be able to eat. I started giving her small samples of sweet potatoes, rice cereal, apples and bananas. She likes the sweet potatoes and rice cereal only! As of now, she is eating 2 servings of rice cereal per day and she really enjoys her food! Of course, she is still a milk monster although she's eating solids now...

Baby Sara is starting to get really responsive and loves playing! When you talk to her, she'll squeal in delight and it is so so adorable! she also loves playing with all her toys and loves standing in her walker. Sometimes, when i leave her alone, she will wrestle with her toy tigger and that usually keeps her busy for a very long time!